Extreme Examples of a Bad CV

I recently came across an e-mail citing examples of a bad CV.

'Just IT' ran a six-week study to help students and graduates improve their CVs.
Managing director Sunil Duggal receives hundreds of CVs and cover letters every day, some brilliant and others appalling. In a bid to educate job seekers about what to avoid writing, he has identified the worst to land on his desk.

Each is labeled as a type, and all are best avoided.

The neurotic: a candidate submitted a password protected CV which could not be accessed.

The evangelist: a candidate ended a covering letter with ‘Jesus loves you’.

The banker: a candidate put their bank details on their CV.

The cyber-criminal: a candidate put that their life’s ambition was to be a hacker.

The punctual one: a candidate put ‘I’m good at timekeeping. I wake up at 6am on Monday, Wednesday and Friday’ on their cover letter.

The bone idle: a candidate sent across a generic template leaving gaps where there should have been information describing the job position they were applying for, and the company they were applying to.

The enigma: a CV was submitted with no name or contact details.

The pervert: CVs with inappropriate email addresses such as ‘caught****ing@school.com’.

The narcissist: a cover letter from a candidate with one objective - ‘to please and attain supreme perfection’.

The porn star: a CV was submitted including a photo more suitable for a glamour shoot.

This made me laugh. Luckily I don't think my CV is that bad although judging by my bad luck in the job market maybe it is. However next week on Thursday I have a job interview in Telford for 'Jacobs' (transportation dept) and on November 6th in Luton for a market research company called 'Critical'. Hopefully something comes of one of these, ideally the Telford role because I would like to use some skills developed through my Geography degree in a work related 'sphere'.

Listening to: Superchunk - Here's Where The Strings Come In

Musical Mayhem

Hello Bloggers.

Since my last post, quite a lot has gone on. Last week I went to see Reuben and Milburn at Manchester Acadamy, I've had a cold, my spacebar on my laptop has decided to break for good I think, my bank has decided to charge me £20 interest each month on my overdraft and I've trailed endless websites seeking a job which

A. Doesn't seek numerate candidates
B. Is more than what I want to be earning.

I have come to the conclusion that I will be doing administration temp jobs into my 40s.

The first gig consisted of Enjoy Destroy from Basingstoke, Kill Kenada from Bognor Regis (!) and Reuben. It was an enjoyable experience seeing all bands, if I was to provide ratings out of ten I would give E.D 7 (I later found out their debut has been produced by Grant from Feeder - they had great energy on the stage), Kill Kenada a 7 (similar to E.D in energy and performance) and Reuben a 9. I went to this gig purely because I had a ticketmaster £10 voucher from last year and this was the only event on their website which I thought would be worthy of my presence. I have though got all of Reuben's albums so I was still looking forward to it. And they didn't disappoint. Unlike alot of bands I've seen in the past, they had good banter with the crowd and were surprisingly quite humerous in their approach. The songs were rocking with a big moshpit forming for the entire setlist and they looked after their fans when chaos ensued! Overall it was well worth the £2 I paid and three days later I was still deaf in my left ear!

Milburn was my most anticipated having become one of my top three bands over the last year. I'd never been to Acadamy 2 before and what struck me was the height of the room and the size (pretty big). This left me doubting how good the gig would be because I prefer the smaller venues where the sound and crowd are more intense. Model Radio opened with barely half the room full. They were energetic and a lot of people were getting into them. However with the electronic elements I wasn't so sure so would give them 5/10. Kudos to the lead singer though for his friendliness towards the fans at the merch stands after the gig and the personal comment he left on my myspace wall thanking me for attending and hoping I liked them! The Envy Corps turned up next - I was expecting the worst having heard them on myspace previously and after the first song I wasn't impressed, not helped by them referencing Doves as an influence. However they grew on me and by the end I quite liked their performance, unlike most of the audience due to them sounding nothing at all like Milburn. Picking up a limited edition EP at the end, I was interested to see how they were on CD. I actually like it so I would give them 6/10.

Milburn took to the stage and the place went crazy. But to summarise the overall performance, I expected more. Maybe this was due to the lack of banter with the crowd, that they didn't play two of my favourite songs, that a massive guy elbowed me in the head at the start? Nonetheless they ended with two stormers and then came out with an encore which left me feeling satisfied with the night's performance. 'What You Could Have Won' was cracking live, just like it is on their debut album, probably worth the £11 entry fee alone. I would give them 8/10. Gutted though that I didn't realise a drumstick had landed right by my feet until it was too late.

I have also been actively downloading albums of late. Jimmy Eat World's new one 'Chase This Light' is a slow burner, although I am not happy with their now clean poppy commercial sound.But i've realised that

A. They have yet to release a bad album - I just don't like the style they have developed since Clarity (shortening of the songs for instance - making them radio friendly?)

B. CTL actually has some quality tunes (Big Casino, Let It Happen, Firefight) on it.

I don't think it is a coincidence though that as soon as a band joins a major label they go down in my estimation (Foo Fighters, JEW, Fall Out Boy etc.). All these bands, if I was to list their albums in order of preference, go from their first through to their last (although CTL would be just above Futures if I was to rank them). However, from my perspective, it has been eclipsed by A Wilhelm Scream's new effort 'Career Suicide' which is hard, heavy and incredibly catchy. This is definately in the running for my album of the year.

I will not depress you with my job search. Fair to say I keep attacking endless dead-ends. I will leave you with this thought - Prison Break - best programme on TV right now. Download it, watch it, live it!

Download:
Prison Break - Season 3
Milburn - What You Could Have Won
Reuben - A Short History of Nearly Everything
Jonah Matranga - You Always Said You Hated San Francisco

Read:
This Book Will Change Your Life by A.M. Homes

A News Story That Caught My Attention

Job losses over eBay 'addiction'

Three council workers have lost their jobs for spending too long on the internet auction site eBay. One was sacked and two resigned after managers at Neath Port Talbot Council found some staff were spending up to two hours a day on the website. Union officials have blamed bosses for "putting temptation in their way" - by allowing access to the internet. The council said it carried out an investigation after officials spent a "significant time" on the internet.
It said another two cases were being investigated while another member of staff had been given a warning. Union officials said in all, over an 18 month period, up to six council staff had lost their jobs.

The council highlighted "an unacceptable level of usage of shopping, entertainment".
Graham Jones, personnel chief at the council, said: "We have a policy of allowing employees to use the internet in their own time. "But we clearly don't want them to use it in council time - at the end of the day they are employed to do a job of work not be shopping online."
The council, which employs 7,500 staff, had security software in place to prevent access to inappropriate websites such as porn sites but not eBay sites. Andrew Woodman, regional organiser for Unison said they had asked for an urgent review. "The council have gone completely over the top on this issue. The internet is part of our working lives, whether we like it or not." Unison welfare officer Mark Fisher said people got "addicted" to certain websites. "People get very involved in eBay, Sky Sports and their favourite soccer teams. It happens in many, many offices," he said.

The council has software to prevent staff accessing some sites"Obviously we cannot justify people spending a couple of hours of working time looking at these sites - but temptation was put in their way," he added. "We plan to push for the authority to make changes to its IT system, to help prevent workers landing themselves in hot water." He called for internet access be limited to lunch break and that web access should be filtered at other times.
"We want them to take temptation out of people's hands," Mr Fisher said. "These were decent well-paid jobs in admin earning between £20,000 and £25,000 a year. "It is personally devastating to them to lose their jobs over this." Employment solicitor Bethan Darwin, of Cardiff-based Darwin Gray Solicitors, said she regularly advised on excessive use of the internet which was a "constant problem for all employers". She said some policies for companies also concerned the use of telephones for personal calls, mobile telephones and e-mail, and had become more commonplace in the last five years. Ms Darwin said: "Technology is changing all the time, consequently workplace policies and procedures have to change alongside those developments."

It's a difficult issue really. I think I got sacked (let go because they were reviewing the role - of course!) from my last temporary job for overuse of the internet! Or maybe it was because I couldn't be bothered to get everybody elses tea's from the kitchin area. At that company, people were regularly going on facebook through the day. Here at Swinton, I currently have web messenger up, I check my e-mails, I look at my favourite websites, in between doing a bit of work. I think that is where the discussion lies, going on for two hours a day is probably a bit extreme, half an hour to an hour should probably be accepted. But because there are so many internet addicts out there (me included) now due to the growth of internet use at home and the variety of websites available to browse, it is almost impossible to not go on the internet whilst at work. The trick is to not get caught! I think if I was in a job though that I really cared about, I wouldn't use the internet for personal use because I would not want to risk losing it having gone through interviews etc to get that far. But in a temporary job where I process stationary orders all day, I don't actually worry about it all that much. Really, it depends how much you want to stay in your job in relation to how much time you use on the internet. Or maybe companies should just restrict all sites except for the ones needed to produce the work you're doing. If they did though, I wouldn't be happy!

Update: I did not pass the online tests for John Laing. Back to square 1. I really don't think they are a good way of judging whether someone is right for the role. Especially when the questions are worded badly and I haven't done maths since I passed the intermediate exam at GCSE!

Guess I should get back to inputting numbers on excel now...

Ihaveastickyspacebar

If you could read the title of this post and then you read this and think, what is he going on about, then do not be deceived. I am simply giving a blog update from the office i'm temporarily working in. It is indeed correct, my space bar on the home laptop appears to have given up on me for no apparent reason. Although I have discovered that if I press the top right corner hard and slide my finger across it then I can get a space, it just takes a while, which isn't great when I want to type out a long post. It happened for no reason, nothing has been spilt on it. However it did do this once before then started working again so I am hoping for the same. Nevertheless, I will plough on for my readers.

Just a quick update but a very important one:

This blog will continue to run as a personal account of my life and will continue to share with you any amusing articles, videos, pictures etc. that I find on the world wide web and my thoughts on these. I am going to however also create a more content focused blog which at the moment is going to be based around the broad concept of 'IDENTITIES'. I will give you more details when this blog is created (weekend hopefully) - but it will be a very exciting adventure with guest writers, up to date research and many photos from various sources. There will also be the possibility for prestigious brand companies to advertise depending on the success of the content and reader opinion. I am looking forward to starting this project and hope you will also enjoy what it will have to offer.

DEAR READER: If you would like to appear on my new blog (which will have a strong focus in parts on fashion) you can e-mail me a picture of yourself and describe in no more than 200 words your ideas on fashion, why you wear the clothes you wear, where do you buy your clothes, does anyone influence (i.e. any celebrities) what you wear? How has your fashion changed over the last few years?

You can e-mail me at the following address: tom_m_cox@hotmail.co.uk. Guys and girls are both welcome to participate.

Keep checking back for regular updates. I will post a new blog in the next couple of days.

Tom.

Fate 1 Graduate 0

Todays Facts:

1. If you try to fry cabbage it works but pops at you
2. Daddy Long-legs are one of the most poisonous spiders in the world.

It's the time of year when the daddy-longlegs, members of the Pholcidae family, strike. What do you do? Do you pick them up and throw them out the window or do you find the nearest newspaper/magazine and hit them hoping for a quick knockout leaving a trail of green up the wall? I know people who do both and here is some more information about the creatures from hell that you will be dealing with in the coming months:

• When they are disturbed or when they are under a threat of attack, they start vibrating in their web violently to scare off and discourage their enemy. Therefore, they are also known by yet another common name of vibrating spiders.


• It is said that the venom of this spider is one of the most poisonous. Since the fangs of these spiders are too small to penetrate the skin, it is not considered a dangerous spider. Many spiders use their venom to kill their prey but the poison of almost all of them is harmless to humans.


• They have four pairs of legs. The first pair of legs is five and half times the length of its body. The legs do not have any prickles but have long stiff hairs.


• They consume every insect like flies, ear worms, beetles and so on. The daddy long legs also put on their menu other spiders like the house spider, wolf spiders, jumping spiders and so on.


• In winter, when there is hardly any insect left, the spider has to seek its prey among the next of kin.


• When ready to copulate, the male spider makes couple of silk threads, then places his genital area on the thread and starts rubbing along the thread which stimulate his sexual organs. This action produces secretion containing his sperms, which is drawn toward his poison fangs, which is sucked up by his palps. Now the male is ready for the mating and goes in search of a female. When he finds the female, he lets her know of his honorable intentions by vibrating his whole body on her web. As the female approaches, the male caresses her first pair of legs, which quickly wins her favor. He then inserts both of his palps in the female vulva. While this is happening, its is not unusual to find another male spider waiting for his turn. The female lives for about 3 years. But the male lives only for a year, copulates and dies.


• The daddy-longlegs does not have many enemies but sometimes they get caught. Most daddy-longlegs probably die in a vacuum cleaner.

Thanks go to http://www.xs4all.nl/~ednieuw/Spiders/Pholcidae/Pholcidae.htm for the information.

As I mentioned previously, today I was supposed to be continuing my job search by completing some online tests using the designated company that John Laing (and alot of other businesses also use) called SHL. On SHL you are able to try some practice tests so it is worth checking out. I was told there would be technical issues with the site until 5:30pm so at 7:30pm I attempted to do the testing required for the recruitment process only to find the following message appear:

"We cannot complete your registration at the moment because your link to the server seems to have been broken. You may have lost your link to the internet or been cut-off. Please return at a later time to try again or contact your administrator for further details."

This appears typical of the amount of bad luck I continually receive, sometimes it seems destined that I will never get the job I strive for. A call to the recruiter confirmed that she will extend the deadline so hopefully tomorrow it should work. All this after going to Sainsburys before to buy a shiny new Casio calculator! I believe that the numerical part of the testing will focus on percentages quite a bit again as this continues to be what recruiters look for in a numeric candidate after going for tests in London a couple weeks ago (before this blog began) for I-Level, a digital media company. I have found this link useful although I still don't really understand a great deal of it, intermediate maths at GCSE was a long time ago! - Percentages.

Latest Graduate Vacancy News (courtesy of Milkround)

1. 80% of graduates satisfied with university experience
2. Graduates want to travel in their jobs
3. Unequal pay fuelling loss of women in IT workforce

It is at this time when Freshers Week begins for most university's that I wish I was back to being a student again, lack of real money problems, drinking daily, not really having to think about a career until 3rd year, relaxing with friends. Going to Sainsburys today in Fallowfield reiterated this point, swarmed with students eager to spend on accessories and luxury food items. Looking back, I would say I was definitely satisfied with my University experience and I believe without having gone to University, I would be a completely different person than I am today. The three year transition enabled me to go from a rather shy introverted individual to someone not afraid to voice their opinion and make the most of opportunities provided. In terms of looking to travel abroad to work, my parents have already suggested the idea of moving to America or Australia! However in my current situation I feel it is too soon to do that, I would rather settle in Manchester or hopefully London, and get to know my friends better whilst developing new friendships where the world of work takes me.

I feel at this stage it is appropriate to end this post. Tomorrow I start week 2 of a temporary assignment I have been placed in at Swinton Insurance in Manchester City Centre. It involves typing out stationary orders for 7 and a half hours each day. How I wish for a proper job in the big smoke!

Listening to: Senses Fail - Still Searching.

Digital Art in London

It's Sunday morning or Saturday night which ever way you want to look at it and time I think for me to go to bed having been staring at this screen for what seems like the past eight hours setting up the blog. Tomorrow I am going to be taking a numeric and verbal online test to try and get through to the assessment day for John Laing in London. To do this I will need to go Sainsburys beforehand to buy a calculator but I have read that SHL's website is down for maintenance until 5:30pm so I have plenty of time. For all you graduates out there, I found the job on Milkround which is excellent for finding jobs that don't present themselves to you on the other mainstream job boards. Because my numeric skills are not my strong point, I will do some practice tests on SHL's website before doing the actual designated ones for candidates.

Before I go, I would like to post the following image which I found whilst seeking a background for this blog in google images. It is a fantastic digital photograph and inspires me even more to look for a move to London ASAP.

Go! Go! Go!

Welcome All.


The aim of this blog (this is starting to sound like a GCSE Chemistry Experiment write up :/) is to capture the daily goings on of my life and the lives of others as each day brings new possibilities (or not as the case may be). I intend to develop this online diary over time by introducing new and exciting advertising material, images, and most importantly, thoughts, as life takes its many twists and turns. So I will leave it at that for now, a brief introduction. Feel free to have a look around and I hope you enjoy the ramblings which spew from my rather abstract grey matter over the coming months. To build traffic and keep you all entertained, I hope to introduce new posts regularly. If you would like to leave any personal messages, my e-mail address is under my user profile. Otherwise, you can leave comments under the posts. Tell all your friends and add me to your favourites!


Tom.



Reading: Generation X
Listening: The Matches - Decomposer
Thinking: Make dinner